Now that’s the last blow. I accepted with grace being locked in. I didn’t mind teaching on a computer in front of letters instead of students.

I agreed it was reasonable not to see my partner and celebrate with him our two years together.

This morning I joyfully wished him a happy 25th month with me… via WhatsApp!

…But this email from Gus Christie is the end of any plan whatsoever and I have to admit it made me particularly emotional. It’s ridiculous of course since so much is happening and so many people are miserable but I was sort of clinging to this very last little opera at the end of the season and kept hoping against all odds. No matter how silly I sound, this is how I’ve come to realise that we had come to the end of an era, not really a sort of passing problem that would soon be sorted but a major crisis no one can predict the end of.

Today, like all Tuesdays, was my day off. However I did not take this opportunity to go out. I stayed home, had a nice breakfast, played a bit and attended a one hour and a half conference on the Velazquez masterpiece last Meninas. It was delivered by my friend Véronique from Barcelona and she did a fabulous job at making me forget totally where I was… I will post her lecture as soon as I get a moment to dedicate to this transcription but I never realised what an incredible mystery was underlying this fabulous masterpiece. It’s a historical political maze as well as a remarkable artistic achievement of a real genius.

Who is here, who isn’t, who is reflection, why are some people looking at us and not the others?…

After that I had lunch with Clélia,

rested a bit watching a miniseries called Dérapages on Arte TV. It’s a fascinating and very realistic story of a man desperately looking for a job in France that one hire anyone aged above 50. Yet it’s so violent that I usually can’t watch a whole episode, I literally have to break away!

I chatted also with a couple of friends, cleaned up my mailbox, figured out away out of the administrative complexities of the various exams I’m looking after, I booked a restaurant for next week but the measures are so strict that no we have to come into the restaurant all at the same time and as one of us was planning to come only for coffee it made the whole process more difficult… In the end two of us will go to the restaurant and will see the other to some other time!

… And that’s when I received the news that Glyndebourne was cancelled altogether and that I broke into tears which are not completely dried yet. I immediately cancelled the B&B I had booked for that for what was supposed to be the cherry on the pay of our summer he was a little hot in the garden which I had already postponed once because it was meant to be in June originally and I transferred the booking to the Fidelio dates which are now obsolete as well. But the exchange I had later on after my cancellation soothe me a bit because it shows how people can be nice and kind.

I spend the rest of the afternoon feeling sorry for myself (Marc took care of making me laugh again telling me that I shouldn’t worry would we would just watch a bit more quartets since we are allowed to see cultural events up to 4 people!), working on reorganising the oral exams for my students and sorting out the number of students who will sit for them, a job usually attributed to colleagues paid for that and we’ll see tomorrow and Thursday if it’s worth the hassle. I have to admit one thing though …today I never got dressed!After my bath (I tend to take more baths than showers these days) I simply kept my bathrobe and was about to get dressed for dinner but decided that my kimono was going to be just enough! I believe it’s a first in at least 25 years! I don’t know if it says anything about my mental state but I certainly was more shaken than I thought about Fidelio’s cancellation. It is as if we had to stop dreaming! But as long as we are healthy there is no real reason to whine, let’s dine instead !

And now the goodies, with my love! Oh and of course on regarding each blog!

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